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I traded in my social life for a paycheck.

I've no idea how I feel about that.

All I know is I have a desk, a notebook, a computer, a list of things to do, and a few crazy ideas.

Last night, it was late. I was up thinking about life, and writing in my journal. Then I had a thought. It went as follows : "What if I wrote a letter to [insert boy's name here] confessing all my secret feelings for him and posted it on my blog? Then sent him a link via text message?" That thought just proves my theory that I am crazy. Even that was a crazy thought for midnight. Basically, I have no social life at the moment. Can you tell?

I feel the need for a snowcone extravaganza.  Soon.

Unexpected

It was all unexpected.

What he did was unexpected.

What happened was unexpected.

But really, if you think about it, the majority of life is unexpected.

I don't understand why it happened, or the reasoning behind it. But I'll be fine. People change, they move on.

I realized that I've changed a lot.

An excerpt from my journal:

"I've come along way from who I used to be. If you looked back on me one year ago, you would have seen a painfully shy, insecure, hopeless girl. I'm not the same person I once was. I've fallen hopelessly in love with a boy, (even if he didn't know it.), I've had my heart broken by said boy, and I've grown up. A lot. I use to fantasize my life. Now I live my life. I used to think love was just like the movies. I've been proved wrong. I'm stronger now. Yes, I might still be a bit shy, but it's fine. I am who I am. Now when I look in the mirror, I see a strong girl, who's been pushed to her limits more than once. I see a girl who's moving on from the past. I see a girl who's been lied too. I see a girl who's ready to leave the past behind. I see a girl who's ready, at last, to move on."

That's me. Thanks to my lovely sister for the photography skill.

P.S. to all my lovely followers who commented on my last post, thank you. I love you ladies.

Day 29: I Would Like To Think So...

I would like to think I know what I want in life.
Except I don't.
At least nothing is set in stone, nothing is absolutely positively something I want so much I would do anything for it.
I don't know where I want to go to college. I don't know what I want my career to be. I don't know where I want to live. I don't know what I want my future to be like.
All I know  is this....
The only thing I know I for sure want is to 
F a l l  I n  L o v e.

Day 16: The First Kiss Story

Yeah, It Doesn't Exist.

Yet.

Day 5: What Is Love?

What is love?

I don't know for sure.

What I do know is love is something magical.

Love is what everybody wants, what everybody is searching for.

Love is knowing that that one person is waiting for you.

It's knowing he will always keep you close to his heart.

Love isn't something to take for granted.

It's something special, something that everyone needs.

When you find it, never let go of it.

Never treat it as something you can just throw away.

Because you can't.

My question is this:

If it's so great, why is it so hard to find?



Day 2: A Love Story

My First Love?

Let me tell you a story.

Once upon a time, there was a boy. He name was Tyler.

We were in kindergarten and we were going to get married.

Because he had the most perfect blue eyes, and really long eyelashes.

And yes, I told him that. And we decided to get married.

My best friend, and his best friend were also going to get married. It was going to be a double wedding. Except it never happend.

But it's fine.

Because we were 5.

Then I moved. The funny part?

He was in my 8th grade science class.

And we were friends again.

Until high school came, and he went to one high school, and I to the other.

The End.

I know I was 5, and I didn't know what love was, but hey, for a 5 year old, who wrote love notes to him all the time, (really I did. They are in a box in my storage room), that was my definition of love. Liking someone for his eyes and planning on marriage.

I have never truly been 'in love'.

But I met this boy, and he is perfect in every way.

We have been friends for a long time, and I never thought anything of it. Until that fateful night he held her hand.

It was movie night, and I had no idea.

I went home after the movie, and cried for 3 days straight.

It was then that I realized I liked him a lot more than a friend.

A Lot.

And I didn't know what to do.

The sad part?

I still like him alot. Maybe it isn't love, I don't know, but it's something.

And I intend to find out.

But until then, I will wait. Again.

Because I have been waiting for a long time.

And I can wait some more.

Everytime I see You smile,

I fall all over again.

LGMH

Love Gives Me Hope


Click on that link above. I know you want too.